i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
