Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
