So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
