I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you win again, gameday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
