were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
