I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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