No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
