if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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