I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
