Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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