Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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