And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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