My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
