he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
