isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
