you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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