I molested 6 butterflies tonight
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
