when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
