Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
