The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
