Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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