So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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