glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
