If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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