i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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