It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
