You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
