those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
