Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize