An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
