hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
