they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
