So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
