it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
