I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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