Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
