is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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