Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
