Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
