I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
