You can't special order awesome
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
