Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Your cock deserves a montage
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She needs sedatives and a leash
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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