I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
