You just made me feel so damn special
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
