I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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