Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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