are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
my liver is dry heaving
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
