this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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