Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
