I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
