Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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