sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
