Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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