I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
