I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
