your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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