She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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