i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
