There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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