Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
