whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize