She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
