I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
As shirtless as possible
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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