Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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