am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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