its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
