also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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