let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
