Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
