i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
