talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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