I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
