i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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