its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
