but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
