That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
