Is it normal to miss your booty call?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
