Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
