I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
